I met Allison when she was barely eighteen and I was, well, a bit older than that!  I liked her from the get go.  Apart from being a stunning redhead, with a figure to match, she had a great sense of humor and was smart!  We really hit it off.

She had just gotten engaged to Mark and was planning her wedding.  My kids fell in love with her too, and she asked Amy and Annie to be her flower girls, needless to say they were thrilled at the prospect.  John was asked to help carry the wedding gifts so he felt involved and happy.

Over the years, my friendship with Allison deepened. She was with me through the good times, the bad times and all those in between.

When she and Mark divorced, Allison and I remained the closest of friends, and she often quipped that she got Mark’s Aunt in the divorce settlement.

Out of all of the memories I have of Allison, I’d like to share some that are near and dear to me.

When my late husband became ill and had to have have kidney treatments every other day, I would come home from work, hurry and feed my kids, then drive from West Valley across town and leave Tim for three hours, (there was no room for me to stay and keep him company) I usually just wandered around Cottonwood Mall until it was time to pick up Tim and make the return trip.

Apart from Allison, there were only two occasions when anyone offered to help me out.  But, true to form, Allison took the helping out to a whole new level.  She sometimes joined me at the mall and one day, while chatting and window shopping, I saw a beautiful picture.

The scene was almost identical to that of the River Wear ( near my home in England) with old English homes flanking the banks, swans gliding, gracefully and serenely on the water.

I was reminded of the many times I had rowed a boat on that river, whilst marveling at the majesty of Durham Castle and the Cathedral visible from many vantage points along the river.

Under protests from me, but with great gratitude, Allison bought the picture for me, claiming that I needed something “just for me” since I was giving so much to everyone else. Wow!

If I ever end up in a nursing home that painting better go with me! That’s it, hanging above the piano in the picture.

After Tim passed away, I was drained, emotionally, physically and psychologically, I was a wreck.  John was in Chile on a mission, my girls were devastated and lots of people asked me to call if I needed anything.  Yeah Right, that’s so me! Here came Allison to the rescue, she spent time with the girls, nurtured them, made them laugh, encouraged them and generally kept us going until we could keep going on our own.

Annie’s death was unbearable for us all. We each grieved in our own way, but my daughter Amy, who had a very close sister/friend relationship with Annie was inconsolable. I was barely functioning myself, but Allison and her creativity were a “Balm of Gilead”.

Allison and Amy went through Amy’s closet and picked out a favorite pair of Jeans.  Allison had brought fabric pens, glitter, sequins etc., and got Amy involved in expressing her feelings and emotions through decorating the jeans.  The result was spectacular, both in how the jeans looked and in the first fun Amy had had since her sister’s death.  They came to be called her happy pants!

I have always maintained that in times of crisis, ( or anytime really) it’s the small acts of kindness that can have the biggest impact.

Amy was in rehearsal at the time for Joseph, she was the narrator.  With the exception of Ken, the musical director and friend,  Amy did not tell anyone about her loss, but Allison was there in the pit every night and I know her presence brought Amy comfort and security.

I wish I could share with you the naughty times Allison and I have had, but it’s a bit embarrassing.  Although ask her about the design we came up with for an orgasm ball for ladies, or our fpw club which we hoped would evolve into the FPW club.  Allison qualifies for the latter, but I’m still a slow starter.

All in all, I can’t imagine my life without Allison, she has encouraged me, comforted me, put up with me and been incredibly patient with me. My health problems often make me hide from the world, I have lost a lot of friends because of this, but not Allison.

If I had to choose between Mother Theresa or Saint Allison, there would be no contest. Besides, unlike Mother Theresa, Allison would buy me great wine, and provide me with super, duper condoms!  And she would never, ever judge!!!!

Wait, I just thought of something else.  When Tim was in the hospital dying, he was barely conscious, I kept the tv off most of the time, but I did get bored.  Lots of people came to see Tim but I stayed in the room every night on a cot.

I rarely slept.   I love to read but was so filled with anxiety I had trouble concentrating on anything  of substance.  Along came Allison with a book called “Paradise Vue” a mormon novel that was one of the funniest mormon fiction I have ever read.

She also brought me a cassette player and had made tapes of some of my favorite classical pieces, those that were calming and comforting.

I also remember a particular tender moment when Allison accompanied me to the mortuary and helped me fix Annie’s hair and makeup for her viewing.  I brushed Annie’s long, blond hair and let the curl that always formed on the right side wrap around my finger.  Allison, found a pair of scissors and I made the decision then and there to keep that curl forever.  It lies in a small, round silver box, nestled above the curl from her very first haircut.

What can I say Allison? Perhaps I should thank Irene for raising such a wonderful and caring daughter? I suspect that Kristin is a mirror image of Allison.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

ps. What the hell does “Bottom of my heart” really mean, anyway?
pps: I have stories to tell of Paul’s kindness to me and mine, those I will save for another post.

“In the name of the priesthood, I baptize you, in the name of the father, son and holy ghost. Now your gonna get dunked!”

This went on for a little while until their grandmother noticed them. She was off her lounge chair like a bat out of hell! She yanked them out of the pool and yelled at them, “Don’t you ever play sacred games again!” Girls can never, ever baptize anyone and don’t you forget it!” The little girls looked very contrite until grannie turned her back and they just giggled and giggled. I got such a kick out of their antics!

Question: Has anyone out there ever played a “sacred game” in childhood? I don’t think I ever did.

The Senate is set to vote any day on legislation that aims to remedy this situation. Would you please consider signing this petition?

And perhaps even contacting your state Senator to urge them to support the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act (S. 909)?

Thank You.

It seems that more annual ornaments are to come but fail to say what the focus will be. I hope it’s not the San Diego Temple, that always reminds me of something in Disneyland. My friends saw it for the first time and when I asked, “Well what do you think of it” he thought for a moment and repled, ” It needs to be backed into a cul-de-sac with a crucifix!” I mean, how hard is it to find a good architect?

The brochure I received described the ornament with such a flourish. I was particularly interested to know the magical powers that accompanied the thing. I quote… “Peace on Earth can be yours for just $21.95 ( plus $3.95 shipping and service)” Get Out! Do you know how many peace organizations are going to be thrilled to hear this! It also comes, free of charge, a beautiful gift box, so you can buy several and mail to your friends! Imagine, being able to mail, peace on earth to your friends?

I’ve already started my list. Palestine is getting one, Israel, Pakistan, The Sudan, Oh, the list goes on. I need to send several to the GOP. Isn’t this wonderful news?

Wait: Should the Muslims ornament have a mosque instead of a temple? Better have a menorah or star of David for the jews. And the GOP, no question, they have to have a Gun and tiny Abu Graibe figures. ( I can never spell that right!)

Anyway, if you had to design an ornament for 2009 what would it be?

I was reminded of something that I read many, many, years ago in the novel Jane Eyre written by Charlotte Bronte:

“Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosed or fertilized by education; they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.”

To all my GLBT friends and family I say: Do not give up, do not be discouraged, I remember the witch hunts in the sixties and seventies and we have come a long way. We will continue to love and support you, and fight for your equal rights or by God die trying!

Visit CourageToCampaign.org To sign a petition on prop 8 and one asking Obama to reinstate Lt.Don Choi to the military follwing his dismissal for being gay.

Just thought I’d let you know she’s alive…. not sure about well.

I know she’s in there somewhere because I’m channeling her right now. I haven’t sworn this much for a very long time, and I had a hamburger and fries! And, alarmingly, I’m trying to abort my inner child.

Hopefully her mind and fingers will connect again soon and spew forth abundant wit and wisdom.

Pray with me.

THANKS to each of you for your support and advice. I am considering my options. This is a lousy time to try to sell my condo, maybe I could rent it out or something. I have also considered the possibility of moving out of Utah during the winter months and returning for the summers. I do know that when I am away from Utah my anxiety levels are reduced! Seriously!

RELIEF SOCIETY: Paul, you are right about trying to make changes from within. For years I used Relief Society, first in the Ward and then in the Stake as a platform to get women thinking about issues from their own perspective and not the church’s or their spouses. I had a small measure of success but eventually I had a Bishop who said that the men in my ward wanted to lynch me. True story. Of course this reaction from the priesthood stemmed from a particular incident, which I could share but is long and maybe boring to some.

POLITICS: Josh your insight is appreciated. You are young and energetic, I believe you represent the new face of homosexuality in Utah and I am glad we have someone like you working on behalf of the others. In one of the letters to the editor in the SL Tribune today, someone wrote that the Dinosaurs of the legislator will eventually be silenced as the younger generation comes of age and policies change over time with the rise of a new generation. I hope that is true………..

MEANWHILE, Some Ass in the legislature from Provo would like to conduct a study to see if it would be possible to tax caffeine next session. He considers himself a ” social caffeine” drinker. Is that like having an occasional cocktail at social events but against alcohol?

NATIVE AMERICAN TREASURES: One more thing and then I will change my tune. A very exciting discovery was made in Draper, ruins of a three thousand years old Native American village with countless artifacts, and an amazing opportunity to learn more about this ancient civilization. Too bad it stands in the path of a current development project for the city. To cut a long story short, arguments were made and the legislature has has made it possible for this amazing historically important find to be paved over in the name of progress ARGH!!!!!!

CRAIG: you crack me up! Have you thought about writing a sit-com?

ALLISON, KRISTIN and ROBERT: I love the Pacific North West, it reminds me of England in many ways. I have also spent several summers in Connecticut, Boston and New York, while visiting several other New England states. I love CT. especially, the seaside communities. So many decisions, so little time.

THANKS AGAIN TO EACH OF YOU.

CHRIS BUTTARS: FORMER BISHOP, BRAINLESS SENATOR, HOMOPHOBE, RACIST and JUST A DOWNRIGHT NASTY HUMAN BEING.

Buttars was interviewed by REED COWAN, a former SLC newscaster who now lives and works in Miami and is making an independent film about HOMOSEXUALITY and UTAH POLITICS. Cowan hopes Sundance will show the film. Anyway, Buttars stated that homsexuals et al., were a bigger threat not just to the United States but to the entire world, than Terrorists!!!!!
He also went on to say that the situation was worse than in Sodom and Gomorah since that problem was localized and the current homosexual issue is global.

What an ass of a man!
Does that make San Francisco the equivalent of an Al Quaida stronghold on the Pakistan/Afhanistan border? Despite calls for his resignation, Senate President and friend of Buttars, Mike Waddoups claims that Buttars was removed from chair of the Senate Judicial committee, not because of his comments, but because he (Buttars) had promised not to speak
in public about homosexualty while the legislature was in session.
I believe it was Senator Howard Christiansen who stated that over 90% of Utahns agreed with Buttars statements! Where the hell does he live!

I MUST CALM DOWN.
My question is this: Do I stay in Utah and try to fight these people through various means or do I escape from Zion and try to save my sanity?
HELP ME DECIDE.
COMMENTS AND ADVICE PLEASE.

Peace on earth good will to men somehow turned into a christmas morning tradition of,  Pearce’s on earth, oh go to hell!!

Tim loved to shop!  He loved to shop in high end stores, buy expensive gifts for as little money as possible and surprise everyone.  My first clue about Tim’s proclivity for retail recreation came when we were dating.  Arriving earlier than planned at my apartment for a date, Tim informed me  (without shame or embarrassment,  I might add)  that he needed to go to Auerbach’s department store and pick out a girdle for his mother!!  I kid you not!   His mother had asked him to do that. ( I must confess I did wonder if the girdle was for him and he was using his mother as an excuse.) He was slim and looked good in his clothes but then that was when he was in pants and a shirt, I had no idea how he would look in a dress.  The girdle was bought and the date continued.  The girdle wasn’t a deal breaker we did end up getting married and taking his “second mother” on our honeymoon, but that’s another story.

Our first Christmas together  Tim bought me some fabulous clothes. Unfortunately, I was pregnant with our first child and needed maternity clothes, which he didn’t buy.  He bought me leather boots,  a matching purse, a new coat and jewelery. I loved the gifts, but I was worried.  I couldn’t bring myself to remind him that he was still at student at the U or, more to the point, ask him where he found the money for such a Christmas.  I didn’t have to wait long for the answer. By the end of January statements of charges from several department stores graced our mail box. And so began the first of twenty two years of our traditional Christmas fights.

I suspect he was a little deaf too.  He always asked me what I wanted for Christmas and then surprise me with something completely different.  Like the year I wanted a string of pearls. He shopped and there was a long narrow box under the Christmas tree with my name on it, but it was too heavy to be pearls.  I was puzzled.

Finally, Christmas morning arrived and I tore open the wrapping on that gift, I opened the box with a mixture of anxiety and excitement and there they were, nestled in cotton, a beautiful pair of expensive scissors.  “You wouldn’t believe the deal I go on those”  Tim exclaimed, Oh I believe I do I thought.  “Now when you sew  – which I seldom did since the  kids had grown into the name brand stage of youth -  you have the very best scissors.”  Was he really that clueless?

I resigned myself to being appreciative of the gift until I put my fingers into them…  They were for a left handed person.   You guessed it!  I am right handed.  Tim was unfazed by that, “I bet you could learn to cut fabric with your left hand”   Oh, I wanted to cut something alright but it wasn’t fabric.  Life with Tim could be a headache but it was never dull!

Do you have any stories of Christmas dissapointments?  What is the wierdest gift you ever received?  When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?  Am I the only person who had christmas fights?  Do Tell!