I took a trip down memory lane recently.  I’m committed to doing this frequently in the future (before my memory complete fails me!) .  I was on this lane with Allison.

I met Allison when she was barely eighteen and I was, well, a bit older than that!  I liked her from the get go.  Apart from being a stunning redhead, with a figure to match, she had a great sense of humor and was smart!  We really hit it off.

She had just gotten engaged to Mark and was planning her wedding.  My kids fell in love with her too, and she asked Amy and Annie to be her flower girls, needless to say they were thrilled at the prospect.  John was asked to help carry the wedding gifts so he felt involved and happy.

Over the years, my friendship with Allison deepened. She was with me through the good times, the bad times and all those in between.

When she and Mark divorced, Allison and I remained the closest of friends, and she often quipped that she got Mark’s Aunt in the divorce settlement.

Out of all of the memories I have of Allison, I’d like to share some that are near and dear to me.

When my late husband became ill and had to have have kidney treatments every other day, I would come home from work, hurry and feed my kids, then drive from West Valley across town and leave Tim for three hours, (there was no room for me to stay and keep him company) I usually just wandered around Cottonwood Mall until it was time to pick up Tim and make the return trip.

Apart from Allison, there were only two occasions when anyone offered to help me out.  But, true to form, Allison took the helping out to a whole new level.  She sometimes joined me at the mall and one day, while chatting and window shopping, I saw a beautiful picture.

The scene was almost identical to that of the River Wear ( near my home in England) with old English homes flanking the banks, swans gliding, gracefully and serenely on the water.

I was reminded of the many times I had rowed a boat on that river, whilst marveling at the majesty of Durham Castle and the Cathedral visible from many vantage points along the river.

Under protests from me, but with great gratitude, Allison bought the picture for me, claiming that I needed something “just for me” since I was giving so much to everyone else. Wow!

If I ever end up in a nursing home that painting better go with me! That’s it, hanging above the piano in the picture.

After Tim passed away, I was drained, emotionally, physically and psychologically, I was a wreck.  John was in Chile on a mission, my girls were devastated and lots of people asked me to call if I needed anything.  Yeah Right, that’s so me! Here came Allison to the rescue, she spent time with the girls, nurtured them, made them laugh, encouraged them and generally kept us going until we could keep going on our own.

Annie’s death was unbearable for us all. We each grieved in our own way, but my daughter Amy, who had a very close sister/friend relationship with Annie was inconsolable. I was barely functioning myself, but Allison and her creativity were a “Balm of Gilead”.

Allison and Amy went through Amy’s closet and picked out a favorite pair of Jeans.  Allison had brought fabric pens, glitter, sequins etc., and got Amy involved in expressing her feelings and emotions through decorating the jeans.  The result was spectacular, both in how the jeans looked and in the first fun Amy had had since her sister’s death.  They came to be called her happy pants!

I have always maintained that in times of crisis, ( or anytime really) it’s the small acts of kindness that can have the biggest impact.

Amy was in rehearsal at the time for Joseph, she was the narrator.  With the exception of Ken, the musical director and friend,  Amy did not tell anyone about her loss, but Allison was there in the pit every night and I know her presence brought Amy comfort and security.

I wish I could share with you the naughty times Allison and I have had, but it’s a bit embarrassing.  Although ask her about the design we came up with for an orgasm ball for ladies, or our fpw club which we hoped would evolve into the FPW club.  Allison qualifies for the latter, but I’m still a slow starter.

All in all, I can’t imagine my life without Allison, she has encouraged me, comforted me, put up with me and been incredibly patient with me. My health problems often make me hide from the world, I have lost a lot of friends because of this, but not Allison.

If I had to choose between Mother Theresa or Saint Allison, there would be no contest. Besides, unlike Mother Theresa, Allison would buy me great wine, and provide me with super, duper condoms!  And she would never, ever judge!!!!

Wait, I just thought of something else.  When Tim was in the hospital dying, he was barely conscious, I kept the tv off most of the time, but I did get bored.  Lots of people came to see Tim but I stayed in the room every night on a cot.

I rarely slept.   I love to read but was so filled with anxiety I had trouble concentrating on anything  of substance.  Along came Allison with a book called “Paradise Vue” a mormon novel that was one of the funniest mormon fiction I have ever read.

She also brought me a cassette player and had made tapes of some of my favorite classical pieces, those that were calming and comforting.

I also remember a particular tender moment when Allison accompanied me to the mortuary and helped me fix Annie’s hair and makeup for her viewing.  I brushed Annie’s long, blond hair and let the curl that always formed on the right side wrap around my finger.  Allison, found a pair of scissors and I made the decision then and there to keep that curl forever.  It lies in a small, round silver box, nestled above the curl from her very first haircut.

What can I say Allison? Perhaps I should thank Irene for raising such a wonderful and caring daughter? I suspect that Kristin is a mirror image of Allison.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

ps. What the hell does “Bottom of my heart” really mean, anyway?
pps: I have stories to tell of Paul’s kindness to me and mine, those I will save for another post.